Please search these places on Google when in need of local resources.
- Prevent Child Abuse Texas
- Prevent Child Abuse America
- Parents Anonymous
- Children’s Defense Fund
- National Coalition Against Domestic Violence
- National Domestic Violence Hotline
- Family Violence Prevention Fund
- Texas Department of Health
Today’s Crisis Intervention Thoughts
How May I Help You?
“How may I help you? Just tell me. How can I help you?” When asking that question, you need to make sure that everything–from your hand to your eyebrows must convey your desire to help the person with whom you’re trying to work.
Do you remember what it used to be like when you walked into a McDonalds, what did they used to say? They didn’t start out by just standing there waiting for you to tell them what you want. These days, at best, you’ll get a monotone, “Yeah, welcome to McDonalds. You want a Happy Meal? You want a combo?” They used to say, “Hi, welcome to McDonalds, how may I help you?” That was just the greatest!
You immediately thought, “Hey, this is fantastic! I’m going to get my fries, my Big Mac…” You felt as though all they wanted to do in that moment was to help feed you and it made you feel pretty good getting your basic need of hunger taken care of (think back on Maslow’s Hierarchy).
You can take that mindset–that concept–and apply it the next time you’re intervening with someone and have reached a point in the crisis where they’ve moved up to the Resistance ERL stage. They’ve become resistant to the majority of interventions that you’re trying to offer, and you’re feeling as though you’re running out of options. At that point you can physically put up your hands and say, “Okay. Okay, Mr. Smith. You know what? Just tell me, how can I help you? Tell me how I can help you through this situation. What I can do?” Immediately, it puts ownership back on them. Basically, you’re telling them, “Hey, you’re in control, tell me what you need from me.” More often than not, that individual will tell you. Now, it may not be something positive; it might be something to the extent of, “Yeah, I’ll tell you what you need to do, you need to get the f*&^ out of my face!” Often, in early stage crisis intervention, the Disagreement ERL stage, and even the Resistance ERL stage, you’re still trying to work with them by being a positive influence and role model. You’re trying to guide them to create an opportunity, or open a door, so that you can help them.
If you focus on helping, versus exhibiting power and control in trying to force someone to do what you want them to do, I believe you’re going to experience much greater success in every crisis.